The issue I have with Boyfriends

I love my boyfriend. I really appreciate that he has the guts to stand up to me when I'm being a bitch. I think he is a complementary amount of quirky and silly for me. I realize that I'm ridiculous sometimes and he is never embarrassed of me. and he's very pretty. I love him very much. I'm very happy I found him. And I don't think I could ever regret meeting him, even if the relationship turned sour and died. But hopefully it won't.

HOWEVER

I do have issues with boyfriends.

I'm completely unproductive when he is around. I can't focus on school or work when he is in the same town as me. I can't figure out if this is because I am a day dreaming heart-shaped eyed girl at the moment or what, but it is incredibly frustrating. When he's gone, I get so much done! It's incredible! I'll be a week ahead in school when he isn't around. I have to be. I have to distract myself from the fact that he's gone, or I'll get needy and annoying.

He's way too nice to me. He tries to buy my dinner, or brings me flowers, or wants to help me wash my car. It's like "BACK OFF BUSTER! I CAN DO THIS MYSELF! I'M NOT HELPLESS!" And then i feel bad for yelling at him and let him help me anyways. I like being taken care of, I do. But seriously, I need to know that I'm not dependent. I need to know that I'm self-sufficient. And then he has the audacity to tell me that I'm even more confusing than a regular girl because I succeed at pretending to be a boy sometimes. What does that even mean?

I know I have used this blog to whine and complain about being alone. but I haven't been alone for almost five months. I'm over it. wait, no. I take that back. I don't know. GAH! I hate being complicated.

I need more girl friends so that I have people to talk to about this kind of stuff. Blogging is just not cutting it.

Harrisonburg is full of people. haven't found any I connect with yet. Got a new job at a restaurant though. it may help. or I may have just surrounded myself druggies. one of the two.