So looks like this is really happening and I'm moving to Charlottesville. For Virginia, Charlottesville is gorgeous...I'm really impressed by it. Got a job as a mentor for children with communication disorders, which is what my grad work will be in. so yipee! real life. crap.
It snows there.
so I'm a college graduate now. way weird feeling. never planned for this. or anything after this. I thought I would be married by now with kids, but alas, I am not. so...sweet.
bff my ass.
Sam is going to India for the Spring semester. so yesterday was the last i will see her until may. MAY!?!?! I have spent almost everyday with this person for the last 2 1/2 years (minus summers) and now she is going to be gone for 5 months? that's not fair. even when I left the country it was only for 3 months and it was summer anyway, it was allowed...this..this is not allowed. I cried a little as I hugged her goodbye, but I didn't tell her that. we had a small cuddle session on the couch. I should've let her keep my sweatshirt, just so that she'll have me in India, or maybe so that a little of me will be in India. but now it's kind of my little part of sam that is home with me. I love that girl. it should be illegal.
I love talking about jazz music right now, because I feel so knowledgable and biased and angry at certain figures, as though I were an expert...it's pretty great.
I'm going to see Zach in Annapolis on friday! I love Zach! we have one of the most interesting relationships I've ever had with a person ever. and I think he would agree with me on that one. but it's great and we had a conversation the other day about how now that I graduated from college I'm going to call him with real life situations and its going to be weird when the whole "so he asked me to marry him" conversation happens. or what we're going to name the kids. for someone who lives pretty much as far as possible away from me while still in the U.S. we are very close. and I feel like that means something. That we survived dating and still are friends...that means something too. and it's nice to know that there is someone in my life that means something. I think that is important.
and i've never been to annapolis, so that'll be fun.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Graduated before exams were even over
I used to write a lot of poetry. I stopped for a while and only returned to it every once in a while. recently it was been flowing out of me more than usual and I figured I'd share one or two here.
this one I wrote for a class actually. I call it a rhythmic rhyme because "poem" is too prim for it and "rap" is too black. it's about romantic racialism, the idea that there is a split between the body and the mind and blacks have the body (they can dance, they work hard, they are earthy) and white have the mind (they are intelligent and civilized). This rhyme is about how I think this idea is crap because it is and because I want to be considered a good dancer. but I'm white.
race
the color of my face
the line never erased
with time
what kind
of divine
intervention will it take
to break
the fake
the imaginary line
the split between the body and the mind
why do I
get the mind
while you get the body
won’t somebody
tell somebody
that I want both of these
commodities
and I don’t see
why you can dance
and I don’t have a chance
to advance
just because of the color of my skin
do you win
do I win
this thin veil
lifts slower than a snail
and I want to impale
that idea
might be a
different way
to play
this stupid game
shuffle ball toe
uh oh
oh well
let’s just sit for a spell
this is it
the chance to meld
to create
a different fate
for the ones
the sons
those yet to come
the mid day sun
on the backs
of the blacks
as they worked
for the jerks
that ruined it for all the whites
so uptight
cannot swing
and it don’t mean a thing
if it aint got that swing
so we just sway
in our own dull white way
while you pop and you lock
and you blow them away
its not fair
I’m not my hair
I have a soul
I have soul
it's better if read aloud but this will have to do. My prof gave me snaps...it was funny.
that's all I have the courage to put up here right now.
this one I wrote for a class actually. I call it a rhythmic rhyme because "poem" is too prim for it and "rap" is too black. it's about romantic racialism, the idea that there is a split between the body and the mind and blacks have the body (they can dance, they work hard, they are earthy) and white have the mind (they are intelligent and civilized). This rhyme is about how I think this idea is crap because it is and because I want to be considered a good dancer. but I'm white.
race
the color of my face
the line never erased
with time
what kind
of divine
intervention will it take
to break
the fake
the imaginary line
the split between the body and the mind
why do I
get the mind
while you get the body
won’t somebody
tell somebody
that I want both of these
commodities
and I don’t see
why you can dance
and I don’t have a chance
to advance
just because of the color of my skin
do you win
do I win
this thin veil
lifts slower than a snail
and I want to impale
that idea
might be a
different way
to play
this stupid game
shuffle ball toe
uh oh
oh well
let’s just sit for a spell
this is it
the chance to meld
to create
a different fate
for the ones
the sons
those yet to come
the mid day sun
on the backs
of the blacks
as they worked
for the jerks
that ruined it for all the whites
so uptight
cannot swing
and it don’t mean a thing
if it aint got that swing
so we just sway
in our own dull white way
while you pop and you lock
and you blow them away
its not fair
I’m not my hair
I have a soul
I have soul
it's better if read aloud but this will have to do. My prof gave me snaps...it was funny.
that's all I have the courage to put up here right now.
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