I'm suddenly old

This is the first time I have really had time to myself in months. having a boyfriend is life consuming. I love him. but it is nice to center. I turned off my phone.

I realized about two months ago how out of shape I was. This coming from a girl who never weighed over a buck ten in her life suddenly being of normal body weight. Some people get weird when I talk about weight. I don't think about it as "oh my god I'm so fat" so much as "oh my god I miss feeling healthy and active". My mother would say I'm healthier now. anyway.

So I moved to this new apartment complex in harrisonburg right? It's amazing. I have a gym, a pool, a pool table, foosball, DDR, huge TV, furnished apartment. it's awesome. Very happy with it. I figured, I have a gym at my fingertips for free. Work out here I come. This coming from a girl who maybe worked out in a gym once in her life. I never ran before because I the back of a 70 year old. And gyms just seem to be full of people who judge themselves and other people. So I've avoided them. But this gym is virtually empty, and I discovered I can run. go me.

All of this to say that there is definitely a direct correlation between me working out and me being happy. I'm sure there are studies and all sorts of things that have already wasted hundreds of words to say that, but I discovered it for myself. It was a good discovery.

So harrisonburg is an interesting place. It's a place I have yet to get a grasp of. Cville was easy: hippies, rich snobs, and the punk/emo/I can't tell the difference crowd. There were only those three and then a few normal middle class twentysomethings that have no idea how they ended up there (me, for example). Harrisonburg is different. JMU undergrad pretty full of skanks and skunks. Girls that sit by my pool talking about waking up next to a guy and wondering what she did last night and guys who have little personality and even littler hygiene. I'm interested to see how my grad program compares. At least they're not snooty snobs. They are VERY TAN though. it's incredible.

This past weekend I went home and the weekend before that I went home. both times I was set on going out dancing like I used to do. And I felt old. I never made it out to the clubs. Mostly because I feel like going with just my boyfriend is silly. The other reason is because I can't remember why I paid 10 dollars to get into a clubs that charged even more for its drinks and was full of annoying drunk people. And I miss my girl friends. But then I never went out with them. So why do I miss this so much? I miss looking fabulous. I haven't worn make up in months. literally. I haven't gotten dressed up besides for a wedding since october. My poor shoes, who I adore oh so much, are sitting in my closet pouting at me because of their lack of use. I miss my shoes. How materialistic is that?

on friday while my brother was gone somewhere or something, I saw his longboard. Now I've never been a real 'sporty" girl in the typical definition. I was a dancer. We're danty. But I've been eyeing this skateboard thing for months. I finally worked up the courage and I put on my new balances. last time I tried to ride a skate board when i was 11 I fell and got one of the biggest blood blisters of my life. So I'm scared as I'm carrying this board outside. I grab John's John Deere hat so that I get in the right head space and I go. after about 10 minutes I'm gliding around the neighborhood, loving every second of it. But I found out that I have to do it with music playing. I'm more coordinated when music is playing. puts me in a rhythm and my muscles are used to having musical accompaniment maybe :). Anyway, by the end of the day i was doing pretty well and then john went out and bought one for me and him to play on. I went down my first big, windy hill today. and I didn't fall. very proud of myself.

Dude, it's 10pm. I'm totally supposed to be back from grocery shopping now. haven't even left yet. Bad lika.