My closet door broke...so I fixed it...I'm handy like that..yo

Yeah. I know. I've been ignoring you.
Yeah. I know. I've been doing it on purpose.

I stopped because 1) I was tired of sounding pathetic, 2) I met an amazing guy (whom I'm now dating), 3) I picked up yet another job, 4) I decided to become a somewhat more social drinker.

Things I have learned in the last month:

1. there just might be nice guys in this world. There is a story behind this guy and it is quite epic. I'm killing time, so I guess I'll tell you. So March 1, 2009, I was sitting in the starbucks at the corner. It was cold, snowy day and all of my 2 friends in Cville were out of town on spring break and all I wanted was a good book and a fireplace. I provide the book, Starbucks provides the fireplace. Bonus is that the comfy chairs are right in front of the fireplace and no one is in there because its UVA spring break and all the wahoos are wahooing somewhere else. thank god. I snuggle up with my copy of My Antonia and begin to read. a good hour passes and this boy (ok man, but boy is such a great word) walks in. catches my eye, but no fireworks. he sits down at the couch behind me a ways. about five minutes later his phone does an obnoxious beeping thing and I throw him the evil eye. How dare he ruin my relaxing reading and fireplace snow day? he mouths "sorry" and I turn away, readjusting myself so that i don't have to look at him. About 30 minutes later he moves to a table to my right by the window. I give him the benefit of the doubt and explain to myself that he just wants to watch the snow, not me. I readjust myself again, throwing my rainbow scarf over the arm of the chair, maybe he'll take the hint. Another hour goes by (he's writing, very brooding of him). He begins a conversation with other people sitting around me about the snow. I make some comment about how we are supposed to get six inches before it is all over. I go back to my book. Please don't talk to me. Oh no, he talks to me. I decide to be nice. I ask the obvious question: "so do you go to UVA?" he gives me an unexpect answer: "no, I just moved here in january". me: "weird, I just moved in january too, where ar eyou from?" him: "Glouster". me: "weird, I went to W&M, that's like 15 minutes from there." we talk more, kinda hit it off. He then says something that changed everything: "so the bar at the corner has all of the their special on drinks from the whole week on sundays starting at 7, it's 6:30 now...wanna go?". My thoughts: "I like you already". we go have good conversation, he's 26, works at lowes, loves his mom, and karaoke. after a few drinks he asks if he can be sappy (he is very sappy) and take me for a walk in the snow around campus which is right across the street. I've never been around romantic men like this and I have no idea how to act. so I goof off the whole time. I push him over, I throw snowballs at him. I refuse his help up a snow bank and fall flat on my ass. needless to say, I laughed a lot. more than I have in a really long time. he walked me to my car. asked if he could see me again, I say sure. I go home. I tell my roommate. twist of events: somehow he originally talked to my roommate about living in my room before I agreed to it. it's a small world ladies and gentlemen. fate? I haven't decided yet.
   
2. My legs are casper the ghost white. wearing jeans all year round is probably not the best idea I have ever had. and I don't really remember why I do it. because it's not the conservative homeschooler in me. and I was a dancer in leotard and tights. it's a stange thing this deal I have with my legs. they are great legs. I don't know why I don't show them off. They really miss the sun.
   
3. its allergy season. need I say more.
   
4. I'm not good at my job. I just got a new client. I start with him tomorrow. but I'm seriously thinking about quitting.
   
5. Beer and Cell Phones don't get along. I turned 22 on March 24. and well, it was great night. until my cell phone went for a swim in a pitcher of beer and got drunk and might have gotten alcohol poisoning because it didn't so much work after that. so i had to get a new one. its very pretty.
   
6. Old cars will die. Azulita decided to explode. in richmond. which is at least an hour from everyone I know. It started getting angry at me as a pulled of the ramp and by the time I got to my destination...well I didn't actually make it to my destination. I made within 5 blocks though and ran the rest of the way. had a meeting. took it to a Saab place right next to where I left it. They told me to take to some place down Broad street. and that something may be wrong with my transmission. well that's just great. and it would've been fine if broad street was all downhill...but no braod street is all up hill. adn the transmission is kinda important for getting a car up hill. and about half way up that hill at Pleasant's hardware, when I pressed the gas pedal..it sounded like I was moving....but I wasn't actually moving anymore. so I cried. because I love my car. and it hurt to see her hurting. called a tow truck and they towed me to some repair shop. told me they couldn't get to it til the next day. so I began my walk to the rental car place. I stopped and got krispie Kreme first because, well let's face it, this was a crisis. I walk into Enterprise, they tell me they have no cars. so they give me a ride to hertz...no cars. stupid drivers in snow can't drive. so I walk to Budget. finally a car. a nice shiny red colbalt. those things have really bad blind spots. never get one. All this time...my dad is in heart surgery. it was a bad day. BUt I got new a car now. 2000 honda civic. boy car. with girly flair. its a drag queen.
   
7. Boyfriends are really good for hanging hammocks on my porch.
8. Tax returns are such a great feeling.
9. Oh, and Gossip Girl is life consuming.
   

so since february I gotten a new boyfriend, a new car, a new cell phone, a new computer, and new TV series addiction. which is pretty much a new life.

I'm on a boat!

Twas an epic weekend. it was the most fun I have had in a long time. I didn't even make it to Campus Golf.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

So I had a conversation with Sonny today about language. Now Sonny is a English Education grad student at UVA. Sonny is one of the smartest and opinionated people I have ever met. But there is this thing about Sonny that has the potential to drive me crazy, if he didn't have other redeeming qualities. He is like a walking SAT vocabulary test. I don't understand the meanings of 1/3 of the words that come out of his mouth. He must always pick the BEST word for what he is trying to communicate, and i totally respect him for that. And I can see why I think he's so smart, he probably has me fooled. But the thing about it is that he then expects me to pick the best word for the occasion and corrects me when I don't choose one that agrees with. The thing is, I make up words most of the time. Its something I've always done, and its something that I love about myself. so when i use the word "beautifulness", it is the word that I have decided was the best of the occasion. Even if its not really a word. and if I want to say phrases like "My syntax is dyslexic". I can. and the fact that I separated myself from my syntax was intentional and not redundant. Don't judge me.

Friday I met Ana. Ana is very pretty. I'm realizing that there are more cool women in this world than I originally estimated. I apologize to all the cool women out there that I didn't believe in. We gotta stick together.

I miss Sam so much. I also miss my cousins. I want to have a girl cuddle session and eat cookie dough and drink wine. this is what I want.

Dont act like I never told ya

um in case you ever come across this question in your life, oranges and coconut milk never mix well in a smoothie, EVER. it doesn't matter what else you put in there. it tastes like vomit.

don't do it!

My soul is a witness

SO I might have gone on a date on monday night. to see frost/Nixon. I actually dont know if it was a date. but it seemed like a date. he picked me up from my house and stuff. didn't pay for my ticket, but he had that awkward moment of asking if he should've. I'm preferring to not think of it as a date. because I'm just like that. it'd be really funny if he read this though.

I cut my hair today. it's my day sorta off. I don't have to work til 6. and I only work til 8. but I've worked about 20 hours monday and tuesday, so I feel I deserve this day to sit. well clean the house and study Anatomy.

conceptual metaphor

I told my dad a lot of things that I don't think I had ever gotten the guts to tell him before.

So find out yesterday that Nate Greene is engaged. I'm really happy for him. my mind is blown, I'm as surprised by this as his bride to be. Because well, greene never seemed like the marrying type. But he's one of the most amazing people I know and I adore him, and any girl to win him has won herself quite a man. and Alex is amazing too, and in the back of my mind I feel like I always knew they were meant to be. even back in the day when we all hung out and did really stupid stuff at Griggs' house. oh wait...when we all hung out and I did really stupid stuff at Griggs' house. man I miss those days. THOSE were some days. Well, I thoroughly excited and happy for them, and also incredibly jealous, but that is besides the point. :) I love them both. Congratulations!

And the other nathan (not bray), I'm pretty sure has bought a ring. my best nathan friends are getting married. I love nathan, he's my longest, best friend. we've known each other for 13 years? something like that. except for the first 3 of those I beat him up until he was pinned on the floor and I had both his hands and would smack with huge pillows. I was a mean kid. I find out years later that I hurt him deeply and probably caused a lot of the issues in his life. this is after we became best friends and he had to deal with some of the more important adult issues like his son, that he is telling me this. is it too late to say I'm sorry?

Dani is engaged too.

I'm engaged TOO!!!!! to a girl...she's pretty...I love her

heroin comes to mind

This is what happens when you leave me alone with my thoughts.

I've decided that I'm not a fan of champagne. its too hard to drink. too much bubbles, not enough taste.

Edit 3:41 pm- The following is MetaBlogging...I've always wanted to use the "meta" prefix in something other than linguistic terms...and i just did...ok carry on

blogs are interesting things. they have way too many angles, too many ways to use them. which is good, but also confusing sometimes. because some people use blogs almost like letters to the family. updates on what's going on with the kids and so forth, so that the technologically savvy of the grandparents can read up on them. this is a very good way to avoid having to spend time on the phone with the 'rents every week when you would much rather be watching the ball game. Some people use blogs to be witty and entertaining. they say comedic bits and beg for comments. They don't necessarily talk about themselves, more of general observations that apply to their life in ironic, or interesting ways. other people use blogs to vent. they just yell and scream into the little window that didn't do anything to them at all. they take out all of their aggression on that poor little keyboard. and the people who read often leave thinking, Wow, they need counseling or something. there are people who only post when they are out of the country or on road trips. they post pictures and little blurbs about how much fun they are having and people hate them because they are so jealous that their blogging friend got to see the taj mahal while they are stuck at a desk typing nonsensical memos. Then there are the people who type the most random, disconnect train of thoughts in their blog. no one could possibly understand what they are talking about, and you have to wonder why on earth they would even post it. keep a journal for god's sake. so that one day you can look back and read all through it and realize that you yourself don't even know what you were talking about, and then you can be thankful that you didn't put anyone else through that misery. it's like a code. a secret code, that just leaves the reader frustrated. oh and the people who only write once a year because they completely forgot about their blog. and they begin with something along the lines of : sorry I haven't written in a while. life has been crazy. and then they're done. they don't tell you about their life or anything. and you have to wonder why they even wrote it. why would leave me hanging like that? I read blogs because I like hearing about what people think, about life, about anything. and you, you give me nothing. the only thing I learn is that you are a horrible storyteller, which then leads to me lowering my level of affection towards you. sorry but it's the truth. if you can't tell a good story, why are we talking?

Then there are people like me, who forgot that they aren't in middle school anymore, and this is probably not the cool thing to do. but we kinda go crazy unless we talk to someone, anyone, so we just write. without thinking. sit down with no idea what is going to come out next. and we change the subject as many times as our minds decide. I don't know why we have blog, honestly. because few people read up on blogs like ours, I think. It takes certain kinds of people to be entertained by comments on daily life. and I know that I don't really advertise mine. soemtimes I pray that no one reads it. hehe its true. because it makes me vulnerable. its a creative outlet...all creative outlets are weak spots. my photography...my dance...my art...the ones that I really love and really show who am I as a person...those are the ones I don't want too many people to see. they are personal. private displays of my soul. they are not there for your criticism, or your comments. they are there because if I don't let them out I'll burst.

I just got back a bunch of Pictures from Snapfish (I heart Snapfish) from my years at WM. I did this because I have this horrible fear that one day Facebook will die and all my wonderful memories that are captured in the pictures on there will die with it. So one night, one of those nights before I before had a job here and I just sat around the house for hours at a time doing nothing, I went through all of the facebook pictures of my friends and I saved/stole the ones that I want to keep for the rest of my life and show my grandchildren. and they will not give a damn about any of them but I'll make them look anyway. ANd I sent them to Snapfish to print and send to me. and I went through them today, smiling at them, even the ones with Will. Because those days really were my favoritest days. Those people have made my life sweet and full. I can't help but smile as I'm writing about it. Really, I have the greatest friends in the world!

I was talking to Sam via Skype the other day. we were talking about how dynamic our group of friends are. we were talking about how few girl friends we have. (side note: I realized that that is not as true as it used to be, because Julianne and Brandy and Jess are girls that I've come to like a lot. unexpectedly). but her comment was something along the lines of:

.I'm a normal person. but all of my closest girl friends are crazy. not like normal people crazy..like on medication crazy! You (me), Lindsay, and Julia, all crazy

HAHA it's true. Sam is the one who keeps us all sane. poor Sam. She's gone now, stupid india. and I'm gone too. I wonder how Julia and Lindsay are surviving. :)

My daddy is coming to have dinner with me today. He's teaching at some retreat in the mountains and coming to visit and see my house and such. I love my double d.

I'm thinking about starting a book. the problem is that I'm too ADD to actually stick to the concept and way of portraying that concept to actually even get to a point where I can write it. My 14-year-old brother is writing a book. he's like 200 pages into it. My 17-year-old sister is his editor. apparently, it's good. I haven't read it...because well, let's be honest...I'm definitely the odd sibling out. I haven't lived in the same house as them in like 6 years. I don't think most of their friends even realize that have an older sister. I'm jealous of their relationship. I always wanted a close sibling friend. an older brother figure. oh well. I have lots of brother-like friends now. can't complain.

speaking of brother-like friends, where's Nathan? oh wait, he's in DC with his girl. I miss him. he's getting married soon probably. very weird. but good. there's a story.

my house is clean...makes me feel good. I love clean houses. I need to do laundry.

i had a dance party in my living room last night. I was the only attendee...it was so fun. Dancing is like breathing...I can't help it. it just happens. and it feels good. so maybe it's a drug..not breath. I can think of worse things to be addicted to. heroin comes to mind.

from 60 to snow in 48 hours

I had forgotten how amazing it felt to take a nap with a toddler. this morning was my first day babysitting Lucas. Lucas is 16 months old. his dad is from Medellin, which is probably why i got the job. Lucas is one of the happiest children I've ever met. He laughs about everything, literally everything (except his mom leaving). He is also one of the most cuddly people I've ever met. most kids, when their parents leave them with someone new for the first time, want nothing to do you. They cry, they run away, they throw things, or they just ignore you. Lucas cried. but all he wanted was for me to hold him. and then he just sat in my lap and mourned his mother's leaving with his head on my shoulder for about ten minutes.

I'm thinking...can I keep you?

and then about an hour later after reading many a book and talking about trucks and dinosaurs he falls asleep. I pick him up and I was going to put him in his crib. but he didn't want to sleep there. he wanted to sleep on his big brother Soren's bed. so I take him over there and I lean down, and the kid will not let go of me. so I lay down next to him, and his is all cuddled close to me and we sleep that way for an hour and half. I woke up as the happiest girl in the world.

it was totally worth getting up early for.