First day of SCHOOL!!! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!
five more minutes.....
First day of graduate school today. Of course it's 8:00am now and I've been up since 5:30am and when is my first class? 5:45pm.
So sitting through orientation this past week...first off, let me just say that grad school orientation lasted maybe 5 hours total over two days. compared to undergraduate orientation where you have to follow the stupid person in a bright yellow t-shirt around for hours and hours with the same people that you will have to live with the rest of the year, and you realize about 30 seconds into the first stupid name game that you are going to hate all of them as of that moment. Grad school is AWESOME!!
so sitting through orientation this past week, they told me that I would get mym first client in two weeks. I'M SORRY WHAT!?!?! TWO WEEKS!!! Shouldn't I take more classes first? I'm so not qualified to have a client in the field that I will be working in AFTER I graduate. haven't graduated yet. probably shouldn't put someone's ability to communicate in my hands. apparently I have no choice.
I was half an hour late to the first day of orientation. I sit down and they announce that we are all going to take the PRAXIS II exam right then. WHAT?!?! isn't that the exam we take when we graduate? yeah. THEN WHY THE HELL ARE WE TAKING IT NOW?
it actually made taking the exam less scary because I walked into it completely unprepared and wasn't completely lost the entire time. most of the time I was though. The answers were in the back of the book. Wish I had known that before.
I'm listening to the new Imogen Heap album thanks to Aaron. thank you aaron.
So of the 31 people in my cohort, 30 are female. this will be interesting. if you haven't noticed, females 10 times out of 10 1/2...well...hate me. fun fun.
I did a pretty good job avoiding people during orientation. but I figured that when they all showed up for dinner at the restaurant I work at and I was off, I should go sit with them. I survived. had more beer than I usually enjoy though. my stomach is pissed at me today for that. beer and I don't mix very well. too heavy. wine.
I think I'm going to take a nap
Monday, August 24, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The issue I have with Boyfriends
I love my boyfriend. I really appreciate that he has the guts to stand up to me when I'm being a bitch. I think he is a complementary amount of quirky and silly for me. I realize that I'm ridiculous sometimes and he is never embarrassed of me. and he's very pretty. I love him very much. I'm very happy I found him. And I don't think I could ever regret meeting him, even if the relationship turned sour and died. But hopefully it won't.
HOWEVER
I do have issues with boyfriends.
I'm completely unproductive when he is around. I can't focus on school or work when he is in the same town as me. I can't figure out if this is because I am a day dreaming heart-shaped eyed girl at the moment or what, but it is incredibly frustrating. When he's gone, I get so much done! It's incredible! I'll be a week ahead in school when he isn't around. I have to be. I have to distract myself from the fact that he's gone, or I'll get needy and annoying.
He's way too nice to me. He tries to buy my dinner, or brings me flowers, or wants to help me wash my car. It's like "BACK OFF BUSTER! I CAN DO THIS MYSELF! I'M NOT HELPLESS!" And then i feel bad for yelling at him and let him help me anyways. I like being taken care of, I do. But seriously, I need to know that I'm not dependent. I need to know that I'm self-sufficient. And then he has the audacity to tell me that I'm even more confusing than a regular girl because I succeed at pretending to be a boy sometimes. What does that even mean?
I know I have used this blog to whine and complain about being alone. but I haven't been alone for almost five months. I'm over it. wait, no. I take that back. I don't know. GAH! I hate being complicated.
I need more girl friends so that I have people to talk to about this kind of stuff. Blogging is just not cutting it.
Harrisonburg is full of people. haven't found any I connect with yet. Got a new job at a restaurant though. it may help. or I may have just surrounded myself druggies. one of the two.
HOWEVER
I do have issues with boyfriends.
I'm completely unproductive when he is around. I can't focus on school or work when he is in the same town as me. I can't figure out if this is because I am a day dreaming heart-shaped eyed girl at the moment or what, but it is incredibly frustrating. When he's gone, I get so much done! It's incredible! I'll be a week ahead in school when he isn't around. I have to be. I have to distract myself from the fact that he's gone, or I'll get needy and annoying.
He's way too nice to me. He tries to buy my dinner, or brings me flowers, or wants to help me wash my car. It's like "BACK OFF BUSTER! I CAN DO THIS MYSELF! I'M NOT HELPLESS!" And then i feel bad for yelling at him and let him help me anyways. I like being taken care of, I do. But seriously, I need to know that I'm not dependent. I need to know that I'm self-sufficient. And then he has the audacity to tell me that I'm even more confusing than a regular girl because I succeed at pretending to be a boy sometimes. What does that even mean?
I know I have used this blog to whine and complain about being alone. but I haven't been alone for almost five months. I'm over it. wait, no. I take that back. I don't know. GAH! I hate being complicated.
I need more girl friends so that I have people to talk to about this kind of stuff. Blogging is just not cutting it.
Harrisonburg is full of people. haven't found any I connect with yet. Got a new job at a restaurant though. it may help. or I may have just surrounded myself druggies. one of the two.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Memories with Michael Jackson
So I don't feel bad about writing about Michael Jackson today for several reasons:
1) everyone else wrote about him yesterday, so I'm not just doing it because everyone else is.
2) I'm not a crazy MJ fan, just an admirer of his dancing
3) There's another reason
Hearing that Michael Jackson had died got me thinking. I think about Michael Jackson a lot actually. I was a dancer. and also I took a class my last semester at william and mary call black expressive cultures and two girls in the class got in a huge fight over whether MJ or Prince was better. It stuck with me. Made me listen to both of them more to decide for myself.
I have a lot of random memories with Michael Jackson's music and I was sitting in bed this morning and they just kept coming to me. I decided to write them down.
When I was a kid, like a little kid, my cousin was crazy about michael jackson. she had her cassette tapes of his music. heh cassette tapes. Anyway, she is a year or two younger than me and she used to put turtle neck over her head and then flip them back and call it her hair (she really wanted long hair). ANd I have this picture of her in my mind wearing nothing but panties and this turtleneck hair dancing around to what I think was the "Bad" album.
Weird Al. need I say more?
When the studio that I danced with had lock ins (or prom happened, or we were bored) we would have dance offs. Zoolander had just come out. Hansel was so hott right then. Dance offs always started with "beat it". I don't remember a single dance off that did not begin with "beat it". We learned the dance and would just dance to it sometimes.
This past semester William and Mary broke the record the most people doing the thriller dance at one time. 247 I think. Led by my good friend Kevin Dua, who came up to me probably 9 months ago and is was like "Leslie! We're going to try and break the record! You gotta do this!" See Kevin Dua and I have a strange connection through Michael jackson. We first met in January 2007. There was an auction to raise money for the international service trips. My then boyfriend was going to Kenya and my best friend Tony was going to mexico, I think. So we're sitting there and in between every couple of items there was entertainment. Kevin Dua comes out and does a Michael Jackson style dance to "Billie Jean". He did a FANTASIC job. I was so impressed. I went up to him afterward (he had no idea who I was) and was like "Oh my gosh, you are a homewrecker! I was this close to breaking up with my bf for you." he got really uncomfortable and laughed nervously. and then we were great friends. :)
well My favorite Michael Jackson song is "the way you make me feel". I have to work on studying for midterms now.
1) everyone else wrote about him yesterday, so I'm not just doing it because everyone else is.
2) I'm not a crazy MJ fan, just an admirer of his dancing
3) There's another reason
Hearing that Michael Jackson had died got me thinking. I think about Michael Jackson a lot actually. I was a dancer. and also I took a class my last semester at william and mary call black expressive cultures and two girls in the class got in a huge fight over whether MJ or Prince was better. It stuck with me. Made me listen to both of them more to decide for myself.
I have a lot of random memories with Michael Jackson's music and I was sitting in bed this morning and they just kept coming to me. I decided to write them down.
When I was a kid, like a little kid, my cousin was crazy about michael jackson. she had her cassette tapes of his music. heh cassette tapes. Anyway, she is a year or two younger than me and she used to put turtle neck over her head and then flip them back and call it her hair (she really wanted long hair). ANd I have this picture of her in my mind wearing nothing but panties and this turtleneck hair dancing around to what I think was the "Bad" album.
Weird Al. need I say more?
When the studio that I danced with had lock ins (or prom happened, or we were bored) we would have dance offs. Zoolander had just come out. Hansel was so hott right then. Dance offs always started with "beat it". I don't remember a single dance off that did not begin with "beat it". We learned the dance and would just dance to it sometimes.
This past semester William and Mary broke the record the most people doing the thriller dance at one time. 247 I think. Led by my good friend Kevin Dua, who came up to me probably 9 months ago and is was like "Leslie! We're going to try and break the record! You gotta do this!" See Kevin Dua and I have a strange connection through Michael jackson. We first met in January 2007. There was an auction to raise money for the international service trips. My then boyfriend was going to Kenya and my best friend Tony was going to mexico, I think. So we're sitting there and in between every couple of items there was entertainment. Kevin Dua comes out and does a Michael Jackson style dance to "Billie Jean". He did a FANTASIC job. I was so impressed. I went up to him afterward (he had no idea who I was) and was like "Oh my gosh, you are a homewrecker! I was this close to breaking up with my bf for you." he got really uncomfortable and laughed nervously. and then we were great friends. :)
well My favorite Michael Jackson song is "the way you make me feel". I have to work on studying for midterms now.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
25 reasons why roommates are a bad idea
Let's talk about what a bad idea having roommates is! I have had 14 real roommates in my lifetime. This number does not include the 7 frat brothers that I lived with when I was homeless. It is important to note that the number of roommates I have had is no fault of theirs or mine. I guess. The funny thing is that I started with 11 roommates and then went remembered Amanda and had to go to 12. then remembered Megan and had to make it 13. ANd THEN remembered Amy (who ruined my semester of WM) and had to make it 14. Dear Lord save us all!
Almost all of my roommates I moved in with without knowing them beforehand. I did/do this because a) I usually move to places where I don't know anyone, b) I have very few girl friends that I could live with, c) most of my friends lived on campus while I was at school. I have experienced roommates that I instantly click with, roommates that I warm up to, and roommates I could wish many many bad things upon.
I want to take a minute and make a list, a really long list of things that equal bad roomies.
1) If you leave town, forget to take out the trash, and maggots start growing in there, you might be a bad roomie.
2) If you set off the fire alarm at 3:30AM because you are cooking drunk (again), if you might be a bad roomie.
3) If you party with your underage friends on a sunday night until 8AM, you might be a bad roomie.
4) If you leave the burner and the oven on ALL NIGHT LONG, you might be a bad roomie.
5) If you take my things and then yell at me for taking them back, you might be a bad roomie.
6) If you have never lived on your own and don't understand why you have to take the recyclables and trash to the road, you might be a bad roomie.
7) If you used my nice knives and then leave them to rust in the sink, you might be a bad roomie.
8) If you smoke pot in my room, you might be a bad roomie. (though there are those that disagree)
9) If you can't talk to me face-to-face and leave little messages of annoyance and hate on the dry erase board, you might be a bad roomie.
10) If you break more than half of glasses in a week, you might be a bad roomie.
11) If you use so much toilet paper that you go through a roll every two days by yourself, you might be a bad roomie.
12) If you make out with the guy I like who I had over for dinner, you might be a bad roomie.
13) If you think it's a good idea to melt jolly ranchers into big candy slabs and the drip it all over the carpet in the living room which is a ways away from the kitchen, you might be a bad roomie.
14) If you do #13 AGAIN after I spend an hour scrubbing the candy out of the carpet, you might be a bad roomie.
15) IF YOU THEN DUMP ONE OF THE CANDY SLABS ONTO THE DRIVEWAY RIGHT BY WHERE I PARK MY CAR SO THAT I STEP IN IT WHEN I DON'T SEE IT AND RUIN MY FAVORITE SHOES, you might be a bad roomie.
16) If you sleep with a guy IN MY BED, you might be a bad roomie.
17) If you don't know how to clean the dishes when there isn't a dish washer, you might be a bad roomie.
18) If you still don't know how to wash the dishes when there IS a dish washer, you might be a bad roomie.
19) If you put my tv on your side of the room, in a position so that I can't see it, you might be a bad roomie.
20) If you yell at your fiancee on the telephone in our room at 2AM while I'm sleeping, you might be a bad roomie.
21) If I have two guy friends stay in our dorm room over night while you're not there and you freak out because you think they might steal your things, you might be a bad roomie.
22) If you take 45 minute showers everyday when there is one bathroom, you might be a bad roomie.
23) If you and your friends use so much of our electricity that our bill is $400 for a 500sq ft apt, you might be a bad roomie.
24) If you have a party while I'm moving my stuff out, you might be a bad roomie.
25) And lastly, if you think that I'm over reacting when I flip out as I walk into my house after being gone for a week and it smells of vomit, rotting food, and cheap alcohol, and I can't see the counters or the sink, and realize that one of your friends puked all in one of my mixing bowls, you might be a bad roomie.
There! 25 things NOT to do as a roommate! EVER!
sadly, all of them are true stories.
I think this is the last time I live with roommates.
Almost all of my roommates I moved in with without knowing them beforehand. I did/do this because a) I usually move to places where I don't know anyone, b) I have very few girl friends that I could live with, c) most of my friends lived on campus while I was at school. I have experienced roommates that I instantly click with, roommates that I warm up to, and roommates I could wish many many bad things upon.
I want to take a minute and make a list, a really long list of things that equal bad roomies.
1) If you leave town, forget to take out the trash, and maggots start growing in there, you might be a bad roomie.
2) If you set off the fire alarm at 3:30AM because you are cooking drunk (again), if you might be a bad roomie.
3) If you party with your underage friends on a sunday night until 8AM, you might be a bad roomie.
4) If you leave the burner and the oven on ALL NIGHT LONG, you might be a bad roomie.
5) If you take my things and then yell at me for taking them back, you might be a bad roomie.
6) If you have never lived on your own and don't understand why you have to take the recyclables and trash to the road, you might be a bad roomie.
7) If you used my nice knives and then leave them to rust in the sink, you might be a bad roomie.
8) If you smoke pot in my room, you might be a bad roomie. (though there are those that disagree)
9) If you can't talk to me face-to-face and leave little messages of annoyance and hate on the dry erase board, you might be a bad roomie.
10) If you break more than half of glasses in a week, you might be a bad roomie.
11) If you use so much toilet paper that you go through a roll every two days by yourself, you might be a bad roomie.
12) If you make out with the guy I like who I had over for dinner, you might be a bad roomie.
13) If you think it's a good idea to melt jolly ranchers into big candy slabs and the drip it all over the carpet in the living room which is a ways away from the kitchen, you might be a bad roomie.
14) If you do #13 AGAIN after I spend an hour scrubbing the candy out of the carpet, you might be a bad roomie.
15) IF YOU THEN DUMP ONE OF THE CANDY SLABS ONTO THE DRIVEWAY RIGHT BY WHERE I PARK MY CAR SO THAT I STEP IN IT WHEN I DON'T SEE IT AND RUIN MY FAVORITE SHOES, you might be a bad roomie.
16) If you sleep with a guy IN MY BED, you might be a bad roomie.
17) If you don't know how to clean the dishes when there isn't a dish washer, you might be a bad roomie.
18) If you still don't know how to wash the dishes when there IS a dish washer, you might be a bad roomie.
19) If you put my tv on your side of the room, in a position so that I can't see it, you might be a bad roomie.
20) If you yell at your fiancee on the telephone in our room at 2AM while I'm sleeping, you might be a bad roomie.
21) If I have two guy friends stay in our dorm room over night while you're not there and you freak out because you think they might steal your things, you might be a bad roomie.
22) If you take 45 minute showers everyday when there is one bathroom, you might be a bad roomie.
23) If you and your friends use so much of our electricity that our bill is $400 for a 500sq ft apt, you might be a bad roomie.
24) If you have a party while I'm moving my stuff out, you might be a bad roomie.
25) And lastly, if you think that I'm over reacting when I flip out as I walk into my house after being gone for a week and it smells of vomit, rotting food, and cheap alcohol, and I can't see the counters or the sink, and realize that one of your friends puked all in one of my mixing bowls, you might be a bad roomie.
There! 25 things NOT to do as a roommate! EVER!
sadly, all of them are true stories.
I think this is the last time I live with roommates.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I'm suddenly old
This is the first time I have really had time to myself in months. having a boyfriend is life consuming. I love him. but it is nice to center. I turned off my phone.
I realized about two months ago how out of shape I was. This coming from a girl who never weighed over a buck ten in her life suddenly being of normal body weight. Some people get weird when I talk about weight. I don't think about it as "oh my god I'm so fat" so much as "oh my god I miss feeling healthy and active". My mother would say I'm healthier now. anyway.
So I moved to this new apartment complex in harrisonburg right? It's amazing. I have a gym, a pool, a pool table, foosball, DDR, huge TV, furnished apartment. it's awesome. Very happy with it. I figured, I have a gym at my fingertips for free. Work out here I come. This coming from a girl who maybe worked out in a gym once in her life. I never ran before because I the back of a 70 year old. And gyms just seem to be full of people who judge themselves and other people. So I've avoided them. But this gym is virtually empty, and I discovered I can run. go me.
All of this to say that there is definitely a direct correlation between me working out and me being happy. I'm sure there are studies and all sorts of things that have already wasted hundreds of words to say that, but I discovered it for myself. It was a good discovery.
So harrisonburg is an interesting place. It's a place I have yet to get a grasp of. Cville was easy: hippies, rich snobs, and the punk/emo/I can't tell the difference crowd. There were only those three and then a few normal middle class twentysomethings that have no idea how they ended up there (me, for example). Harrisonburg is different. JMU undergrad pretty full of skanks and skunks. Girls that sit by my pool talking about waking up next to a guy and wondering what she did last night and guys who have little personality and even littler hygiene. I'm interested to see how my grad program compares. At least they're not snooty snobs. They are VERY TAN though. it's incredible.
This past weekend I went home and the weekend before that I went home. both times I was set on going out dancing like I used to do. And I felt old. I never made it out to the clubs. Mostly because I feel like going with just my boyfriend is silly. The other reason is because I can't remember why I paid 10 dollars to get into a clubs that charged even more for its drinks and was full of annoying drunk people. And I miss my girl friends. But then I never went out with them. So why do I miss this so much? I miss looking fabulous. I haven't worn make up in months. literally. I haven't gotten dressed up besides for a wedding since october. My poor shoes, who I adore oh so much, are sitting in my closet pouting at me because of their lack of use. I miss my shoes. How materialistic is that?
on friday while my brother was gone somewhere or something, I saw his longboard. Now I've never been a real 'sporty" girl in the typical definition. I was a dancer. We're danty. But I've been eyeing this skateboard thing for months. I finally worked up the courage and I put on my new balances. last time I tried to ride a skate board when i was 11 I fell and got one of the biggest blood blisters of my life. So I'm scared as I'm carrying this board outside. I grab John's John Deere hat so that I get in the right head space and I go. after about 10 minutes I'm gliding around the neighborhood, loving every second of it. But I found out that I have to do it with music playing. I'm more coordinated when music is playing. puts me in a rhythm and my muscles are used to having musical accompaniment maybe :). Anyway, by the end of the day i was doing pretty well and then john went out and bought one for me and him to play on. I went down my first big, windy hill today. and I didn't fall. very proud of myself.
Dude, it's 10pm. I'm totally supposed to be back from grocery shopping now. haven't even left yet. Bad lika.
I realized about two months ago how out of shape I was. This coming from a girl who never weighed over a buck ten in her life suddenly being of normal body weight. Some people get weird when I talk about weight. I don't think about it as "oh my god I'm so fat" so much as "oh my god I miss feeling healthy and active". My mother would say I'm healthier now. anyway.
So I moved to this new apartment complex in harrisonburg right? It's amazing. I have a gym, a pool, a pool table, foosball, DDR, huge TV, furnished apartment. it's awesome. Very happy with it. I figured, I have a gym at my fingertips for free. Work out here I come. This coming from a girl who maybe worked out in a gym once in her life. I never ran before because I the back of a 70 year old. And gyms just seem to be full of people who judge themselves and other people. So I've avoided them. But this gym is virtually empty, and I discovered I can run. go me.
All of this to say that there is definitely a direct correlation between me working out and me being happy. I'm sure there are studies and all sorts of things that have already wasted hundreds of words to say that, but I discovered it for myself. It was a good discovery.
So harrisonburg is an interesting place. It's a place I have yet to get a grasp of. Cville was easy: hippies, rich snobs, and the punk/emo/I can't tell the difference crowd. There were only those three and then a few normal middle class twentysomethings that have no idea how they ended up there (me, for example). Harrisonburg is different. JMU undergrad pretty full of skanks and skunks. Girls that sit by my pool talking about waking up next to a guy and wondering what she did last night and guys who have little personality and even littler hygiene. I'm interested to see how my grad program compares. At least they're not snooty snobs. They are VERY TAN though. it's incredible.
This past weekend I went home and the weekend before that I went home. both times I was set on going out dancing like I used to do. And I felt old. I never made it out to the clubs. Mostly because I feel like going with just my boyfriend is silly. The other reason is because I can't remember why I paid 10 dollars to get into a clubs that charged even more for its drinks and was full of annoying drunk people. And I miss my girl friends. But then I never went out with them. So why do I miss this so much? I miss looking fabulous. I haven't worn make up in months. literally. I haven't gotten dressed up besides for a wedding since october. My poor shoes, who I adore oh so much, are sitting in my closet pouting at me because of their lack of use. I miss my shoes. How materialistic is that?
on friday while my brother was gone somewhere or something, I saw his longboard. Now I've never been a real 'sporty" girl in the typical definition. I was a dancer. We're danty. But I've been eyeing this skateboard thing for months. I finally worked up the courage and I put on my new balances. last time I tried to ride a skate board when i was 11 I fell and got one of the biggest blood blisters of my life. So I'm scared as I'm carrying this board outside. I grab John's John Deere hat so that I get in the right head space and I go. after about 10 minutes I'm gliding around the neighborhood, loving every second of it. But I found out that I have to do it with music playing. I'm more coordinated when music is playing. puts me in a rhythm and my muscles are used to having musical accompaniment maybe :). Anyway, by the end of the day i was doing pretty well and then john went out and bought one for me and him to play on. I went down my first big, windy hill today. and I didn't fall. very proud of myself.
Dude, it's 10pm. I'm totally supposed to be back from grocery shopping now. haven't even left yet. Bad lika.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
But I know, Change go'n come
well I'm going to move again. :) this will be 11 times since 2004 I think. I'm a pro. after tonight I will be a harrisonburgson lol.
so far 13 couples have gotten engaged since december.
I had depositions for the lawsuit against me...one of the most awful experiences of my life.
Sam came home
I quit two of my jobs. and my last one I'm pretty sure will no longer need me after the 17th.
school ended. I failed a class...school has started again. already not doing so well.... this is a problem.
I decided that I love my boyfriend. that's pretty huge i guess. we got in our first fight last night. it was a stupid fight. I think it was just the stress of me moving.
Twitter has driven me crazy and yet I can't seem to bring myself to get rid of it.
I'm wasting time I don't have.
let's go to italy.
so far 13 couples have gotten engaged since december.
I had depositions for the lawsuit against me...one of the most awful experiences of my life.
Sam came home
I quit two of my jobs. and my last one I'm pretty sure will no longer need me after the 17th.
school ended. I failed a class...school has started again. already not doing so well.... this is a problem.
I decided that I love my boyfriend. that's pretty huge i guess. we got in our first fight last night. it was a stupid fight. I think it was just the stress of me moving.
Twitter has driven me crazy and yet I can't seem to bring myself to get rid of it.
I'm wasting time I don't have.
let's go to italy.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
My closet door broke...so I fixed it...I'm handy like that..yo
Yeah. I know. I've been ignoring you.
Yeah. I know. I've been doing it on purpose.
I stopped because 1) I was tired of sounding pathetic, 2) I met an amazing guy (whom I'm now dating), 3) I picked up yet another job, 4) I decided to become a somewhat more social drinker.
Things I have learned in the last month:
Yeah. I know. I've been doing it on purpose.
I stopped because 1) I was tired of sounding pathetic, 2) I met an amazing guy (whom I'm now dating), 3) I picked up yet another job, 4) I decided to become a somewhat more social drinker.
Things I have learned in the last month:
- there just might be nice guys in this world. There is a story behind this guy and it is quite epic. I'm killing time, so I guess I'll tell you. So March 1, 2009, I was sitting in the starbucks at the corner. It was cold, snowy day and all of my 2 friends in Cville were out of town on spring break and all I wanted was a good book and a fireplace. I provide the book, Starbucks provides the fireplace. Bonus is that the comfy chairs are right in front of the fireplace and no one is in there because its UVA spring break and all the wahoos are wahooing somewhere else. thank god. I snuggle up with my copy of My Antonia and begin to read. a good hour passes and this boy (ok man, but boy is such a great word) walks in. catches my eye, but no fireworks. he sits down at the couch behind me a ways. about five minutes later his phone does an obnoxious beeping thing and I throw him the evil eye. How dare he ruin my relaxing reading and fireplace snow day? he mouths "sorry" and I turn away, readjusting myself so that i don't have to look at him. About 30 minutes later he moves to a table to my right by the window. I give him the benefit of the doubt and explain to myself that he just wants to watch the snow, not me. I readjust myself again, throwing my rainbow scarf over the arm of the chair, maybe he'll take the hint. Another hour goes by (he's writing, very brooding of him). He begins a conversation with other people sitting around me about the snow. I make some comment about how we are supposed to get six inches before it is all over. I go back to my book. Please don't talk to me. Oh no, he talks to me. I decide to be nice. I ask the obvious question: "so do you go to UVA?" he gives me an unexpect answer: "no, I just moved here in january". me: "weird, I just moved in january too, where ar eyou from?" him: "Glouster". me: "weird, I went to W&M, that's like 15 minutes from there." we talk more, kinda hit it off. He then says something that changed everything: "so the bar at the corner has all of the their special on drinks from the whole week on sundays starting at 7, it's 6:30 now...wanna go?". My thoughts: "I like you already". we go have good conversation, he's 26, works at lowes, loves his mom, and karaoke. after a few drinks he asks if he can be sappy (he is very sappy) and take me for a walk in the snow around campus which is right across the street. I've never been around romantic men like this and I have no idea how to act. so I goof off the whole time. I push him over, I throw snowballs at him. I refuse his help up a snow bank and fall flat on my ass. needless to say, I laughed a lot. more than I have in a really long time. he walked me to my car. asked if he could see me again, I say sure. I go home. I tell my roommate. twist of events: somehow he originally talked to my roommate about living in my room before I agreed to it. it's a small world ladies and gentlemen. fate? I haven't decided yet.
- My legs are casper the ghost white. wearing jeans all year round is probably not the best idea I have ever had. and I don't really remember why I do it. because it's not the conservative homeschooler in me. and I was a dancer in leotard and tights. it's a stange thing this deal I have with my legs. they are great legs. I don't know why I don't show them off. They really miss the sun.
- its allergy season. need I say more.
- I'm not good at my job. I just got a new client. I start with him tomorrow. but I'm seriously thinking about quitting.
- Beer and Cell Phones don't get along. I turned 22 on March 24. and well, it was great night. until my cell phone went for a swim in a pitcher of beer and got drunk and might have gotten alcohol poisoning because it didn't so much work after that. so i had to get a new one. its very pretty.
- Old cars will die. Azulita decided to explode. in richmond. which is at least an hour from everyone I know. It started getting angry at me as a pulled of the ramp and by the time I got to my destination...well I didn't actually make it to my destination. I made within 5 blocks though and ran the rest of the way. had a meeting. took it to a Saab place right next to where I left it. They told me to take to some place down Broad street. and that something may be wrong with my transmission. well that's just great. and it would've been fine if broad street was all downhill...but no braod street is all up hill. adn the transmission is kinda important for getting a car up hill. and about half way up that hill at Pleasant's hardware, when I pressed the gas pedal..it sounded like I was moving....but I wasn't actually moving anymore. so I cried. because I love my car. and it hurt to see her hurting. called a tow truck and they towed me to some repair shop. told me they couldn't get to it til the next day. so I began my walk to the rental car place. I stopped and got krispie Kreme first because, well let's face it, this was a crisis. I walk into Enterprise, they tell me they have no cars. so they give me a ride to hertz...no cars. stupid drivers in snow can't drive. so I walk to Budget. finally a car. a nice shiny red colbalt. those things have really bad blind spots. never get one. All this time...my dad is in heart surgery. it was a bad day. BUt I got new a car now. 2000 honda civic. boy car. with girly flair. its a drag queen.
- Boyfriends are really good for hanging hammocks on my porch.
- Tax returns are such a great feeling.
- Oh, and Gossip Girl is life consuming.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
I'm on a boat!
Twas an epic weekend. it was the most fun I have had in a long time. I didn't even make it to Campus Golf.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
So I had a conversation with Sonny today about language. Now Sonny is a English Education grad student at UVA. Sonny is one of the smartest and opinionated people I have ever met. But there is this thing about Sonny that has the potential to drive me crazy, if he didn't have other redeeming qualities. He is like a walking SAT vocabulary test. I don't understand the meanings of 1/3 of the words that come out of his mouth. He must always pick the BEST word for what he is trying to communicate, and i totally respect him for that. And I can see why I think he's so smart, he probably has me fooled. But the thing about it is that he then expects me to pick the best word for the occasion and corrects me when I don't choose one that agrees with. The thing is, I make up words most of the time. Its something I've always done, and its something that I love about myself. so when i use the word "beautifulness", it is the word that I have decided was the best of the occasion. Even if its not really a word. and if I want to say phrases like "My syntax is dyslexic". I can. and the fact that I separated myself from my syntax was intentional and not redundant. Don't judge me.
Friday I met Ana. Ana is very pretty. I'm realizing that there are more cool women in this world than I originally estimated. I apologize to all the cool women out there that I didn't believe in. We gotta stick together.
I miss Sam so much. I also miss my cousins. I want to have a girl cuddle session and eat cookie dough and drink wine. this is what I want.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
So I had a conversation with Sonny today about language. Now Sonny is a English Education grad student at UVA. Sonny is one of the smartest and opinionated people I have ever met. But there is this thing about Sonny that has the potential to drive me crazy, if he didn't have other redeeming qualities. He is like a walking SAT vocabulary test. I don't understand the meanings of 1/3 of the words that come out of his mouth. He must always pick the BEST word for what he is trying to communicate, and i totally respect him for that. And I can see why I think he's so smart, he probably has me fooled. But the thing about it is that he then expects me to pick the best word for the occasion and corrects me when I don't choose one that agrees with. The thing is, I make up words most of the time. Its something I've always done, and its something that I love about myself. so when i use the word "beautifulness", it is the word that I have decided was the best of the occasion. Even if its not really a word. and if I want to say phrases like "My syntax is dyslexic". I can. and the fact that I separated myself from my syntax was intentional and not redundant. Don't judge me.
Friday I met Ana. Ana is very pretty. I'm realizing that there are more cool women in this world than I originally estimated. I apologize to all the cool women out there that I didn't believe in. We gotta stick together.
I miss Sam so much. I also miss my cousins. I want to have a girl cuddle session and eat cookie dough and drink wine. this is what I want.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Dont act like I never told ya
um in case you ever come across this question in your life, oranges and coconut milk never mix well in a smoothie, EVER. it doesn't matter what else you put in there. it tastes like vomit.
don't do it!
don't do it!
My soul is a witness
SO I might have gone on a date on monday night. to see frost/Nixon. I actually dont know if it was a date. but it seemed like a date. he picked me up from my house and stuff. didn't pay for my ticket, but he had that awkward moment of asking if he should've. I'm preferring to not think of it as a date. because I'm just like that. it'd be really funny if he read this though.
I cut my hair today. it's my day sorta off. I don't have to work til 6. and I only work til 8. but I've worked about 20 hours monday and tuesday, so I feel I deserve this day to sit. well clean the house and study Anatomy.
I cut my hair today. it's my day sorta off. I don't have to work til 6. and I only work til 8. but I've worked about 20 hours monday and tuesday, so I feel I deserve this day to sit. well clean the house and study Anatomy.
Monday, February 16, 2009
conceptual metaphor
I told my dad a lot of things that I don't think I had ever gotten the guts to tell him before.
So find out yesterday that Nate Greene is engaged. I'm really happy for him. my mind is blown, I'm as surprised by this as his bride to be. Because well, greene never seemed like the marrying type. But he's one of the most amazing people I know and I adore him, and any girl to win him has won herself quite a man. and Alex is amazing too, and in the back of my mind I feel like I always knew they were meant to be. even back in the day when we all hung out and did really stupid stuff at Griggs' house. oh wait...when we all hung out and I did really stupid stuff at Griggs' house. man I miss those days. THOSE were some days. Well, I thoroughly excited and happy for them, and also incredibly jealous, but that is besides the point. :) I love them both. Congratulations!
And the other nathan (not bray), I'm pretty sure has bought a ring. my best nathan friends are getting married. I love nathan, he's my longest, best friend. we've known each other for 13 years? something like that. except for the first 3 of those I beat him up until he was pinned on the floor and I had both his hands and would smack with huge pillows. I was a mean kid. I find out years later that I hurt him deeply and probably caused a lot of the issues in his life. this is after we became best friends and he had to deal with some of the more important adult issues like his son, that he is telling me this. is it too late to say I'm sorry?
Dani is engaged too.
I'm engaged TOO!!!!! to a girl...she's pretty...I love her
So find out yesterday that Nate Greene is engaged. I'm really happy for him. my mind is blown, I'm as surprised by this as his bride to be. Because well, greene never seemed like the marrying type. But he's one of the most amazing people I know and I adore him, and any girl to win him has won herself quite a man. and Alex is amazing too, and in the back of my mind I feel like I always knew they were meant to be. even back in the day when we all hung out and did really stupid stuff at Griggs' house. oh wait...when we all hung out and I did really stupid stuff at Griggs' house. man I miss those days. THOSE were some days. Well, I thoroughly excited and happy for them, and also incredibly jealous, but that is besides the point. :) I love them both. Congratulations!
And the other nathan (not bray), I'm pretty sure has bought a ring. my best nathan friends are getting married. I love nathan, he's my longest, best friend. we've known each other for 13 years? something like that. except for the first 3 of those I beat him up until he was pinned on the floor and I had both his hands and would smack with huge pillows. I was a mean kid. I find out years later that I hurt him deeply and probably caused a lot of the issues in his life. this is after we became best friends and he had to deal with some of the more important adult issues like his son, that he is telling me this. is it too late to say I'm sorry?
Dani is engaged too.
I'm engaged TOO!!!!! to a girl...she's pretty...I love her
Sunday, February 15, 2009
heroin comes to mind
This is what happens when you leave me alone with my thoughts.
I've decided that I'm not a fan of champagne. its too hard to drink. too much bubbles, not enough taste.
Edit 3:41 pm- The following is MetaBlogging...I've always wanted to use the "meta" prefix in something other than linguistic terms...and i just did...ok carry on
blogs are interesting things. they have way too many angles, too many ways to use them. which is good, but also confusing sometimes. because some people use blogs almost like letters to the family. updates on what's going on with the kids and so forth, so that the technologically savvy of the grandparents can read up on them. this is a very good way to avoid having to spend time on the phone with the 'rents every week when you would much rather be watching the ball game. Some people use blogs to be witty and entertaining. they say comedic bits and beg for comments. They don't necessarily talk about themselves, more of general observations that apply to their life in ironic, or interesting ways. other people use blogs to vent. they just yell and scream into the little window that didn't do anything to them at all. they take out all of their aggression on that poor little keyboard. and the people who read often leave thinking, Wow, they need counseling or something. there are people who only post when they are out of the country or on road trips. they post pictures and little blurbs about how much fun they are having and people hate them because they are so jealous that their blogging friend got to see the taj mahal while they are stuck at a desk typing nonsensical memos. Then there are the people who type the most random, disconnect train of thoughts in their blog. no one could possibly understand what they are talking about, and you have to wonder why on earth they would even post it. keep a journal for god's sake. so that one day you can look back and read all through it and realize that you yourself don't even know what you were talking about, and then you can be thankful that you didn't put anyone else through that misery. it's like a code. a secret code, that just leaves the reader frustrated. oh and the people who only write once a year because they completely forgot about their blog. and they begin with something along the lines of : sorry I haven't written in a while. life has been crazy. and then they're done. they don't tell you about their life or anything. and you have to wonder why they even wrote it. why would leave me hanging like that? I read blogs because I like hearing about what people think, about life, about anything. and you, you give me nothing. the only thing I learn is that you are a horrible storyteller, which then leads to me lowering my level of affection towards you. sorry but it's the truth. if you can't tell a good story, why are we talking?
Then there are people like me, who forgot that they aren't in middle school anymore, and this is probably not the cool thing to do. but we kinda go crazy unless we talk to someone, anyone, so we just write. without thinking. sit down with no idea what is going to come out next. and we change the subject as many times as our minds decide. I don't know why we have blog, honestly. because few people read up on blogs like ours, I think. It takes certain kinds of people to be entertained by comments on daily life. and I know that I don't really advertise mine. soemtimes I pray that no one reads it. hehe its true. because it makes me vulnerable. its a creative outlet...all creative outlets are weak spots. my photography...my dance...my art...the ones that I really love and really show who am I as a person...those are the ones I don't want too many people to see. they are personal. private displays of my soul. they are not there for your criticism, or your comments. they are there because if I don't let them out I'll burst.
I just got back a bunch of Pictures from Snapfish (I heart Snapfish) from my years at WM. I did this because I have this horrible fear that one day Facebook will die and all my wonderful memories that are captured in the pictures on there will die with it. So one night, one of those nights before I before had a job here and I just sat around the house for hours at a time doing nothing, I went through all of the facebook pictures of my friends and I saved/stole the ones that I want to keep for the rest of my life and show my grandchildren. and they will not give a damn about any of them but I'll make them look anyway. ANd I sent them to Snapfish to print and send to me. and I went through them today, smiling at them, even the ones with Will. Because those days really were my favoritest days. Those people have made my life sweet and full. I can't help but smile as I'm writing about it. Really, I have the greatest friends in the world!
I was talking to Sam via Skype the other day. we were talking about how dynamic our group of friends are. we were talking about how few girl friends we have. (side note: I realized that that is not as true as it used to be, because Julianne and Brandy and Jess are girls that I've come to like a lot. unexpectedly). but her comment was something along the lines of:
My daddy is coming to have dinner with me today. He's teaching at some retreat in the mountains and coming to visit and see my house and such. I love my double d.
I'm thinking about starting a book. the problem is that I'm too ADD to actually stick to the concept and way of portraying that concept to actually even get to a point where I can write it. My 14-year-old brother is writing a book. he's like 200 pages into it. My 17-year-old sister is his editor. apparently, it's good. I haven't read it...because well, let's be honest...I'm definitely the odd sibling out. I haven't lived in the same house as them in like 6 years. I don't think most of their friends even realize that have an older sister. I'm jealous of their relationship. I always wanted a close sibling friend. an older brother figure. oh well. I have lots of brother-like friends now. can't complain.
speaking of brother-like friends, where's Nathan? oh wait, he's in DC with his girl. I miss him. he's getting married soon probably. very weird. but good. there's a story.
my house is clean...makes me feel good. I love clean houses. I need to do laundry.
i had a dance party in my living room last night. I was the only attendee...it was so fun. Dancing is like breathing...I can't help it. it just happens. and it feels good. so maybe it's a drug..not breath. I can think of worse things to be addicted to. heroin comes to mind.
I've decided that I'm not a fan of champagne. its too hard to drink. too much bubbles, not enough taste.
Edit 3:41 pm- The following is MetaBlogging...I've always wanted to use the "meta" prefix in something other than linguistic terms...and i just did...ok carry on
blogs are interesting things. they have way too many angles, too many ways to use them. which is good, but also confusing sometimes. because some people use blogs almost like letters to the family. updates on what's going on with the kids and so forth, so that the technologically savvy of the grandparents can read up on them. this is a very good way to avoid having to spend time on the phone with the 'rents every week when you would much rather be watching the ball game. Some people use blogs to be witty and entertaining. they say comedic bits and beg for comments. They don't necessarily talk about themselves, more of general observations that apply to their life in ironic, or interesting ways. other people use blogs to vent. they just yell and scream into the little window that didn't do anything to them at all. they take out all of their aggression on that poor little keyboard. and the people who read often leave thinking, Wow, they need counseling or something. there are people who only post when they are out of the country or on road trips. they post pictures and little blurbs about how much fun they are having and people hate them because they are so jealous that their blogging friend got to see the taj mahal while they are stuck at a desk typing nonsensical memos. Then there are the people who type the most random, disconnect train of thoughts in their blog. no one could possibly understand what they are talking about, and you have to wonder why on earth they would even post it. keep a journal for god's sake. so that one day you can look back and read all through it and realize that you yourself don't even know what you were talking about, and then you can be thankful that you didn't put anyone else through that misery. it's like a code. a secret code, that just leaves the reader frustrated. oh and the people who only write once a year because they completely forgot about their blog. and they begin with something along the lines of : sorry I haven't written in a while. life has been crazy. and then they're done. they don't tell you about their life or anything. and you have to wonder why they even wrote it. why would leave me hanging like that? I read blogs because I like hearing about what people think, about life, about anything. and you, you give me nothing. the only thing I learn is that you are a horrible storyteller, which then leads to me lowering my level of affection towards you. sorry but it's the truth. if you can't tell a good story, why are we talking?
Then there are people like me, who forgot that they aren't in middle school anymore, and this is probably not the cool thing to do. but we kinda go crazy unless we talk to someone, anyone, so we just write. without thinking. sit down with no idea what is going to come out next. and we change the subject as many times as our minds decide. I don't know why we have blog, honestly. because few people read up on blogs like ours, I think. It takes certain kinds of people to be entertained by comments on daily life. and I know that I don't really advertise mine. soemtimes I pray that no one reads it. hehe its true. because it makes me vulnerable. its a creative outlet...all creative outlets are weak spots. my photography...my dance...my art...the ones that I really love and really show who am I as a person...those are the ones I don't want too many people to see. they are personal. private displays of my soul. they are not there for your criticism, or your comments. they are there because if I don't let them out I'll burst.
I just got back a bunch of Pictures from Snapfish (I heart Snapfish) from my years at WM. I did this because I have this horrible fear that one day Facebook will die and all my wonderful memories that are captured in the pictures on there will die with it. So one night, one of those nights before I before had a job here and I just sat around the house for hours at a time doing nothing, I went through all of the facebook pictures of my friends and I saved/stole the ones that I want to keep for the rest of my life and show my grandchildren. and they will not give a damn about any of them but I'll make them look anyway. ANd I sent them to Snapfish to print and send to me. and I went through them today, smiling at them, even the ones with Will. Because those days really were my favoritest days. Those people have made my life sweet and full. I can't help but smile as I'm writing about it. Really, I have the greatest friends in the world!
I was talking to Sam via Skype the other day. we were talking about how dynamic our group of friends are. we were talking about how few girl friends we have. (side note: I realized that that is not as true as it used to be, because Julianne and Brandy and Jess are girls that I've come to like a lot. unexpectedly). but her comment was something along the lines of:
.I'm a normal person. but all of my closest girl friends are crazy. not like normal people crazy..like on medication crazy! You (me), Lindsay, and Julia, all crazyHAHA it's true. Sam is the one who keeps us all sane. poor Sam. She's gone now, stupid india. and I'm gone too. I wonder how Julia and Lindsay are surviving. :)
My daddy is coming to have dinner with me today. He's teaching at some retreat in the mountains and coming to visit and see my house and such. I love my double d.
I'm thinking about starting a book. the problem is that I'm too ADD to actually stick to the concept and way of portraying that concept to actually even get to a point where I can write it. My 14-year-old brother is writing a book. he's like 200 pages into it. My 17-year-old sister is his editor. apparently, it's good. I haven't read it...because well, let's be honest...I'm definitely the odd sibling out. I haven't lived in the same house as them in like 6 years. I don't think most of their friends even realize that have an older sister. I'm jealous of their relationship. I always wanted a close sibling friend. an older brother figure. oh well. I have lots of brother-like friends now. can't complain.
speaking of brother-like friends, where's Nathan? oh wait, he's in DC with his girl. I miss him. he's getting married soon probably. very weird. but good. there's a story.
my house is clean...makes me feel good. I love clean houses. I need to do laundry.
i had a dance party in my living room last night. I was the only attendee...it was so fun. Dancing is like breathing...I can't help it. it just happens. and it feels good. so maybe it's a drug..not breath. I can think of worse things to be addicted to. heroin comes to mind.
Monday, February 2, 2009
from 60 to snow in 48 hours
I had forgotten how amazing it felt to take a nap with a toddler. this morning was my first day babysitting Lucas. Lucas is 16 months old. his dad is from Medellin, which is probably why i got the job. Lucas is one of the happiest children I've ever met. He laughs about everything, literally everything (except his mom leaving). He is also one of the most cuddly people I've ever met. most kids, when their parents leave them with someone new for the first time, want nothing to do you. They cry, they run away, they throw things, or they just ignore you. Lucas cried. but all he wanted was for me to hold him. and then he just sat in my lap and mourned his mother's leaving with his head on my shoulder for about ten minutes.
I'm thinking...can I keep you?
and then about an hour later after reading many a book and talking about trucks and dinosaurs he falls asleep. I pick him up and I was going to put him in his crib. but he didn't want to sleep there. he wanted to sleep on his big brother Soren's bed. so I take him over there and I lean down, and the kid will not let go of me. so I lay down next to him, and his is all cuddled close to me and we sleep that way for an hour and half. I woke up as the happiest girl in the world.
it was totally worth getting up early for.
I'm thinking...can I keep you?
and then about an hour later after reading many a book and talking about trucks and dinosaurs he falls asleep. I pick him up and I was going to put him in his crib. but he didn't want to sleep there. he wanted to sleep on his big brother Soren's bed. so I take him over there and I lean down, and the kid will not let go of me. so I lay down next to him, and his is all cuddled close to me and we sleep that way for an hour and half. I woke up as the happiest girl in the world.
it was totally worth getting up early for.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
ironically numb
Delicate soul
If only you knew
Of the things
That are in store for you
If only you knew
Of the bullets and knives
Racing towards you
Fragile heart
If only you could see
The destiny
You have laid out for yourself
If only you could see
The hammers and the nails
Made to destroy you
Creative mind
If only you were able
To conceive
The road ahead of you
If only you were able
To conceive
The trials and the logic
Out to bring your
Abilities
To a screeching halt
Delicate soul
Fragile heart
Creative mind
Hold on
Hold on
Until you know that
Your adversaries
Have given up
Never let go
Of the Hand
That keeps you from falling
Under the weight you bear
In being different
For this world
And its people that you live among
Have become as stone
Stay soft
But
Stand firm
If only you knew
Of the things
That are in store for you
If only you knew
Of the bullets and knives
Racing towards you
Fragile heart
If only you could see
The destiny
You have laid out for yourself
If only you could see
The hammers and the nails
Made to destroy you
Creative mind
If only you were able
To conceive
The road ahead of you
If only you were able
To conceive
The trials and the logic
Out to bring your
Abilities
To a screeching halt
Delicate soul
Fragile heart
Creative mind
Hold on
Hold on
Until you know that
Your adversaries
Have given up
Never let go
Of the Hand
That keeps you from falling
Under the weight you bear
In being different
For this world
And its people that you live among
Have become as stone
Stay soft
But
Stand firm
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